Today many parents are worried over casual approach of their children towards studies, especially in primary and middle school. Scoring marks is not much of a problem for these children. Thus they believe that regular and long hours of studies are not essential. Eventually, most of them find it very difficult to focus for a long time when they reach the higher classes and thus lose interest in studies and the process of studies.
Parents are right to worry. Children with above average intelligence make it very easily through today’s primary and middle school systems especially because of the easy and sort exams and repetitive nature of school studies. But many of them end up in mess in high school and later because they may either be not very good with their basics or may end up hating to sit for long hours as per the demands of the senior classes. Hatred or laziness for writing practice is another cause of worry.
In addition they have too many attractions and distractions that they do not believe in doing anything for the sake of their parents or teachers or because they are afraid of the authorities. Usually when parents insist on regular studies, they are faced with strong resistance and at times even violent reactions.
Most of these children do not even respond to suggestions from a counselor or a teacher, timetables or schedules for more than a day or two. Majorly, because though they would want to do better at studies they do not have the discipline or willpower to sustain on their own for long.
The best option for such children is to get them a home tutor. The idea behind this is - children develop the habit for regular studies throughout the year for an hour or two. This habit will take them a long way.
Another advantage is you can instruct the tutors to test the child for the basics of math, languages and science from time to time and set a system of regular practice for the basics so that senior classes become comfortable.
Thirdly, these tutors can, through your instructions, get full test papers solved from the student prior to exams in exam-like setting keeping the required time check. This will improve the child’s examination skills and give a boost to their confidence.
Even if your child is scoring well and is not willing for a tutor, I suggest you to implement it as a compulsion to inculcate regular study habits in your child. If not anything, on some days the tutor can engage the child in subject related or general debate or encourage creative writing.
I would also suggest that the results can be best if the tutor is not a teacher by profession as those teachers put off the students. In most A and B grade cities you would find tutorial agencies that can send you a verified teacher. These teachers are mostly college students and children feel more comfortable with them.
A word of caution though, if your child is a female do insist on a female tutor for the sake of safety and ensure that there is no door closing during the class time and that you or some other adult be around.
We have all set goals for ourselves at some point of time or other. However most of us end up feeling “Goal setting doesn’t work in the face of all the uncertainties of life”. I believe this is where the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is decided. The one common thing with the extraordinary achievers is that they set a goal and stick to it. I understand it is not always easy and certainly that all of us are not equally motivated all the time. But if we really wish to achieve our targets- whether it is starting a new company, going for an IPO, losing weight, changing countries or acing an exam- We need to understand the process of Goal setting and how it works.
While setting goals it is important to have a written statement or plan. The best way to set goals is to using the following formula. The goals should be SMART.
S- Specific- Write- What do I want to Achieve?
M- Measurable- Write- How much, or what exact specifications do I want to aim for.
A- Attainable- Write- What is the degree to which this is attainable?
R- Relevant- Write- Is this goal relevant to what I really want in life?
T- Time Bound- By which date or time do I want to reach there?
For example, If your goal is to make a lot of money. Now that is very vague and you will never be able to reach there. You can make the same goal SMART and write for yourself-
I want to have cash assets in savings (Specific) amounting to 5 Lakh Rupees(Measurable) By December 2020 (Time Bound)
Now you know where you want to be after 2 years so now what you have to do is find the mind point i.e. where you should be by the end of 1st year to achieve your final target of 2 years? If that answer is 2 Lakh Rupees, then you have to ask yourself how much do you have today.
Now you have clear goal for the next one year and all you have to do is draw a strategy to achieve that.
You strategy sheet should also be in writing where you should be working on the following points:
1. How much can I earn in 1 year by the same way that I am earning today?
2. What additional source of income can I add?
3. What kind of investments are needed to reach the planned target of 1 year.
4. Who are the people who can help me - learn, plan, and motivate?
5. What can possibly go wrong?
6. What measures can I take to avoid or counter that which can go wrong?
Getting all this on paper and revising helps clear the perspective. Next you need to paste this paper where you can see it daily and accordingly you can set smaller daily, weekly and monthly goals.
However also remember that goals need to be reviewed regularly as you go along the plan. Adjustments may be needed from time to time based on how you are moving ahead and if or not things are going as per your plan.
For those of us who tend to procrastinate or fizzle out after the initial excitement, it makes sense to have achievement partners in the form of a friend or a family member whom you respect and feel answerable to. Share your Goals and the plans with them and give them the right to follow up with you. After we reach a stage where parents cannot scold us into anything, it is important for us to set our own compulsory check -points. These checkpoints are essential to ensure that we do not back off in times of extreme procrastination or temporary setbacks.
To this extent I strongly recommend to work with a professional Life Coach. To understand better, the life Coaching process looks something like this:-
STEP I: Your coach will help you SPOT and ISOLATE the real challenges you are facing currently.
STEP II: Next they will help you IDENTIFY what your life aims are and what is stopping you from attaining them.
STEP III: Then they will help you CREATE AN ACTION PLAN to overcome the challenges and achieve your aims.
STEP IV: They will BE WITH YOU as you follow through your action plan and climb the steps towards your life goals.
Step V: Together they will CELEBRATE your victories at every stage!
It is a minimum 3 months commitment and with a good coach you will be successfully on your way full of Motivation and enthusiasm.
So go ahead and dream. To turn your dreams into reality, just find your right way to set the goals and follow through!
