Okay, I am not a feminist, but here’s one for the husbands and boyfriends.
Wait, I have another question -
We confidently claim to be the ‘modern’ generation. Our clothes and language and material choices do scream of modernity but, are we really modern? I mean in our thinking and approach towards life?
So if you are an exception, don’t take this personally.
When you fall for a girl, you have certain parameters in your mind. Interestingly most men wish for a modern woman. You wish for a wife whom you can proudly present to the society, with whom you can talk, who should be very attractive to you, she should be game for your definition of parties, and her attractive dressing sense is an added magnet for you to begin with. Her being educated is of course so very important for you.
Often once this alliance is formalized your vocabulary changes. What she should not wear, whom she should not talk to, how she should take care of the entire household whether she works equal hours as you or not. I often witness guys also telling their partner things like, “why did you laugh so much?” “How can you dance in front of so many?” “Sit down everyone if looking at you” “Why can't you dress up like everyone else?”
Then there are those “ultra modern” ones who believe it is their right to marry a girl of their choice in the modern world, but when their parents discuss dowry and huge expenses with the bride's family they simply back of saying, “I can't hurt my parents!!”
You like to decide what kind of place she should work in, that she should not be casual with her work colleagues, that she should have outings only with your friends, and then when she fights you say, “I GIVE you so much freedom to work and you don’t value that”.
Really? Can you imagine she saying this to you? Obviously not, because deep down the garb of modernity we are still the same. A man is FREE but a woman needs to be GIVEN FREEDOM.
What is your normal vocabulary:
1. I let her work OR It is her choice whether to work or not
2. I let her follow her passion OR She is very passionate about her hobby
3. Our family gives her full freedom OR In our family, we all have a right to choose
4. I give her permission to be with her friends till late OR She loves to have a great time with her friend.
5. She works but kitchen is her domain OR We share housework too.
No need to share your answers with anyone, but certainly time to think.