Enrich Yourself by Understanding the Deeper Meaning of Career

As language evolves, many words come to take the more popular meaning or rather the meaning of convenience. However over the period the words may lose their depth and come to mean very little to us. The origin of words usually has much deeper meaning and knowing it can enrich us in so many ways.

‘Career’ is one such word that has lost its real value in the transition. For most of us a career means a profession or line of study or work. Nothing is wrong in this meaning but it is incomplete in many ways.

Career is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as a person’s course or progress through life. It can also pertain to an occupation or a profession that usually involves special training or formal education and is considered to be a person’s lifework 

Even the origin of the word ‘career’ is traced back to Latin ‘carrus’  meaning ‘wheeled vehicle’ that basically symbolizes journey and progress.

Thus career is all about the progress in life. When we take into consideration only the study and profession aspect of career, we develop a warped view towards it. Our focus stills on the options presented to us by the society and our decisions based on the acquiring of degrees and bagging a source of earning.

In reality, choosing a university course only is one step towards the journey of life, which is vast. Most people choose a university degree that seems to be giving them a much accepted professional status and guaranteed income. While zeroing on the course we tend to neglect the most important aspect of choosing the career, the very question: Why do I want to take up a career? While the apparent answer may seem to be about earning a livelihood, if we take a few minutes and ask ourselves another Why? The answer could be easily traced to: I want to be happy! Where does happiness come from? It comes from inner satisfaction, a sense of contentment. We very well know that money alone cannot guarantee that contentment. So isn’t it worth the while to consider this inner satisfaction while choosing our career?

Now our satisfaction is based on many parameters like where we work, where we live, who do we associate with, what is the nature of our work, what are our work hours, what challenges the work has for us, do we enjoy our work, does it align with our life goal, does it give us the opportunities to travel, to grow, to be creative, to invent, to serve, to solve, to change and so many other needs that we have apart from making money?

Choosing a career thus is not just about knowing the employability of that study course. It is about knowing who you are, what you want and what can it give you what you live for. It is a process of exploration. You need to explore yourself and explore the range of career options and then match the career to your needs.

Believe in Your Dreams and Desires As You Plan Your Career

Dreaming is beautiful for it takes us into the world of possibilities. That is the world where everything seems to be possible and that is where all the new inventions are born first. And yet we are not encouraged much to dream. Rather we are discouraged from entering that world lest we would be lost to this world of reality.

As children, we have dreams that are called as fantasies. In those dreams we aim high. We look up to ourselves. When we come across some new things it brings a spark to our eyes. Some people we meet or read about make a deep impression upon us and we dream to become like them. Elders around us find it quite amusing and take pride in sharing it with others.

But as we grow up suddenly hundreds of hands reach out to pull us out of our dreams and to bring us back to the reality. Everyone is worried that the dreamer would never be able to do anything practical and would waste away his/her life dreaming.

In a way they are right because only dreaming does not take us much ahead on the road of life. But that does not make dreaming a crime or a time waster. Every big thing takes shape in the dreams of someone. All the beautiful architecture of the world has its roots in the dreams of their conceivers. Agreed, only dreaming does not do the magic of creation but without dreaming nothing new or big can be achieved. Many a big things do not happen in the world because many dreamers give up on the dreams. They believe on their distracters more than in their dreams.

Action is needed and dreams are needed too. Rather than throwing away your dreams cherish them. If you wish to build castles in the air, build them but then go ahead and put foundations under them with your hard work, perseverance, planning and determination. Set long term SMART goals by visualizing your dream come true. Work on short term goal plan to chalk out a route to the goal and then readjust your immediate goals like planning education and choice of study to start you on the path to achieving your dream goals.

While planning your career do not neglect any dreams or desires you have had about your future. Take these also into consideration and try to blend it with your aptitude, interests and value. It is possible to convert any dream into a reality by working on it realistically. Take help of people who are related to your dream career, ask for help, take guidance. Don’t forget to discuss your dreams seriously with your counselors.

Believe in your dreams and remember not to share your dreams lightly to non-believers. People who do not believe in dreaming big and accomplishing them often laugh on your dreams and belittle your faith in your dreams. This kind of people are all around us.

Beware of them. Remember you are different. You are not your friend, not your parents, not your sweetheart either. You are a unique creation and your dreams and desires would be unique. Do not lose faith in your dreams only because someone who loves you does not believe in your dream.

Talk of your dreams to only those who are action people and who aim high themselves. Work on all aspects of the dreams. Weigh the pros and cons and the risks and benefits equally. Help is available in the world in every form. If you have faith in your dreams and if you do your homework well, there would always be people willing to lend you a supporting hand.

So when you plan your career, keep a place in it for your dreams.

WHICH CAREER IS BEST FOR ME?

Career Guidance by Counselor Dr. Sapna Sharma. Image Source -  http://www.seaindia.in/blog/india/job-oriented-sound-enginering-course-in-india/

In India the choices of careers begin with Engineering, Medicine, Chartered Accountancy & Law. For many, it ends with one of these four. Undoubtedly these are good career options but the problem starts when we believe that these are the only ones. Of course parents wish for a progressive and ‘safe’ career for their children. Unfortunately these definitions of what is progressive and safe is based on a few successful examples in the society. Young students are influenced by the glamour around the career mostly based on the JEE Coaching classes hoardings and the tag of being called an Engineer.

No doubt that the above-mentioned careers are good, but so are any other carefully planned and executed careers. But there is a difference between a career that is ‘good’ and a career that is ‘good for that particular person’. This is simply based on the observation that not all engineers are successful, not all doctors well known, not all Chartered Accountants mint money, but some do. Then again, there are highly successful, famous Journalists, Chefs, Artists, Designers, Entrepreneurs, Trainers, Therapists and so on.

If we really are looking for a career that will give us what we want in life then we would look for a career that matches our personality and aptitude rather than blindly follow the masses that say only certain careers are good.

Students can start with observing themselves and parents can look into what their children really are without any bias or prejudice. If you are considering a career in Engineering then do analyze whether tinkering with mechanical things, household repairs, going into the technical aspect of computers or scooters and cars at home come naturally to the student? A person who is very good at drawing and is basically creative by nature would rarely make a good Engineer even if they manage to secure admission in an Engineering college. Most of these students are unhappy and not able to cope with the studies. Even after they pass out they are basically degree holders and not Engineers and hence have problems growing in the career.

If the students or the parents are not able to understand the basic personality and trait of the child, taking an aptitude test with an experienced counselor would help you understand the student and take the right career decision.

We do much research in selecting our clothes and deciding where to eat then how can we simply decide to take up a career just because everyone else says is good?

HOW TO HELP YOUR AGGRESSIVE CHILD?

Tips on Parenting by Dr. Sapna Sharma. Image Source - https://parentingbydrrene.com/2014/05/28/preventing-tantrums-emotion-language-triggers-and-cues/

Is your child getting aggressive when you try to stop him from doing his nuisance? And are all worried about his future as his young aggressions are just too much to handle? 
 
Here's how to help your aggressive child -
 
Aggression in children can come from any of the following reasons:
 
1. Too much violence on TV or video games: These are directly known to affect the nervous system and lead to aggression, hyperactivity, lack of concentration.
 
2. Not getting enough personal attention from parents especially if there is a younger sibling at home: Often our busy lifestyle means that we do things in a generalised way. For example, our outings are trying to do as many things as possible in one trip - grocery shopping, important supplies shopping, meeting a relative, eating out, etc. Being parents, we feel that we have done our duties as parents but what the children need is our personal attention. If there are two children, it is very important to plan at least one to two hours personal time of each parent with each child. This gives them the space needed to open up and express themselves. Which is very rare in today's busy time!
 
3. Bullying at school or on playground or at home: They cannot share as it is their personal insult but it results in the form of aggression at home where they feel powerful.
 
4. Some physical disturbances like lower eyesight, hard of hearing, etc.: These children suffer but they do not know that something is wrong with them or that it can be corrected. They are highly self-conscious and hence, often resort to aggression to prove their prowess.
 
5. Insecurity due to any reason: You need to talk to them and find out if they are feeling insecure and what's making them so.
 
6. Not able to understand or perform in the class: Many children do not understand the way a particular teacher teaches in a classroom. Also all children do not have aptitude for all subjects and some may not have aptitude for academic excellence - as parents all children are expected to do good in studies just because we send them to good school. This makes it very difficult as they feel pressure on them all the time which can be expressed in aggression or withdrawal.
 
SUGGESTIONS:
1. Try to spend a lot of free time with the child. Meaning when you are not pressed for time or any other activity and when you do not talk about studies or his behaviour. Just be there. May be take him out for his favourite activity and share with him your day, your issues at workplace or how you had suffered as a child. This will encourage him also to start speaking his heart out. BUT remember all this takes a lot of time and patience.
2. Formulate a schedule with your spouse so each one of you sits in a casual mood with each of the children separately and just chit chat. Next time change the parent child pair. Listen more and talk less. Talk to him like he is an adult. Don't always overload him with instructions. If he is not studying or behaving now, getting angry is not going to create any miracle.
3. Slowly ask him if he likes all his teachers, his friends or classmates, his subjects and what difficulties he has with each of them. In my practice as an ophthalmologist I have come across many children who could not see the blackboard clearly due to low eye sight but were afraid to accept. But they could not see and hence could not copy from the blackboard and hence, suffered many insults in school as well as from parents.
4. Take your children for regular eye check ups till they are 18 years of age.
5. Children who do not perform well at school are the ones that require help with studies. These children are then sent to tuition classes where again the child is studying in a group and hence not learning or too shy to ask difficulties or again distracted by other children. For such children it is often best to have home tutors who can teach at the speed and understanding the level of the child. Your child will not spend time going to and from the tuition and you will be able to monitor his progress on a personal level with the tutor.
6. Finally please seek face to face counseling for yourself and your child. Often we parents need to understand what to do with our particular child who is unique. Also we need help for our frustrations and tensions so that we can handle them with patience. For the children it is often easy to open up with a non-judgmental outsider than with a parent who is always judging and threatening. I am in the profession of counseling for over 15 yearsand yet I encourage my children to see other counselors whenever we are not able to get through to each other. I am confident your child can be helped with these tips. For more help you can ask me a question on this site.

How to Choose Best Career?

It is important to understand that choosing a career does not simply mean deciding upon the ultimate career to success and fame; rather it means that a person should have the potential to grow with that career and achieve happiness along with success. That is why it is very important for every student and Parent to understand what is embodied within the word Aptitude and why an Aptitude Test for career selection is important when tracing your path towards success and growth.

Every career option requires a particular aptitude combination that should match with the individual's potential ability to grow with that career.

Best Parenting Tips By Dr. Sapna Sharma. Image Source  https://arenaajmer.com/2016/11/05/career-oriented-courses/

Aptitude is basically defined as an innate, on inborn ability of an individual to perform certain tasks. This can be explained well by understanding that there are many children who are very good at one or more of the performing arts from an early age and without any formal or informal training. Often we refer to these children as ‘gifted’ and their talents as ‘God’s Gift’. Each one of us is born with some or the other such ‘gift’ and as it is clear, if we base our career on something that we already have, we can progress much faster. This ‘inborn quality’ or ‘gift’ is scientifically referred to as ‘Aptitude’.

It is very important for parents and students to understand that School curriculum and marks do not test us for our aptitude for all areas. For example, we believe that students who score good at math and science in school exams can definitely be good engineers. However, study reports by many Engineering colleges show that students who scored high in school because they were sincere and good at rote learning and hence at scoring, face great difficulty even in understanding the basics of engineering. Because to be a good Engineer one needs to have good technical Aptitude and not just the knowledge of math and science. Many Engineering degree holders are not even interested in changing a fused bulb or repairing a leaking faucet at home. This is because they do not have the technical bend of mind and they basically are ‘Engineering degree holders’ and not ‘Engineers’.

This is the reason why taking career decisions based on school marks alone is usually a short cut to one of the most important decisions of life. And shortcuts certainly do not guarantee the desired outcome. It is strongly recommended that each student should be taking a scientific aptitude test around the age when careers are chosen. Ideally these tests along with detailed counseling should be provided to each student of class 9 or ten by the school. However, since most schools are still not very open to doing this scientifically, parents should seek out experienced counselors to work on the career planning with aptitude testing for their wards.

Interest v/s Aptitude
Many times people make a mistake while choosing their career according to their interest. It is very important to understand that interests are based on many factors- exposure, glamour factor, attraction, meeting or knowing some influential or impressive personality who happens to be in the said career in consideration. Children and youth are impressionable. They are strongly influenced by anything that attracts them even momentarily. Also, they are not really aware of many career opportunities available to them. In addition, the media and society is constantly bombarding them with ‘dream careers’ concepts and fearful parents are frequently asserting that if they do not get into a particular career, the children may not have a good life eventually.The result? Well they tend to choose what has made impression on them – a career, someone’s lifestyle, insecurities about their own future. Many a parents hang on to some career mentioned by their child while growing up or a doctor set their little princess had asked for or their child’s interest in watching a particular soap that is about business and money and take it as their child’s ‘Clear interest’. The next that the children know is that they are constantly reminded by the parents that this is what describes the interest of the child and that is ‘the’ career their child should choose. Confused, the children start talking about any of the above experiences as their ‘interest’. For many, soon the ‘interest’ wears off.

In my practice as a counselor, I have met many grown-ups who regret their career decisions that were taken without actually understanding what they really meant. There is money but no happiness or enthusiasm for their work or life. Hence, it is very important for the parents to be aware that they have to ‘watch’ their children. As a child with strong aptitude for Dancing would ‘dance’ at every opportunity and non- opportunity. Similarly, a future engineering would be seen tinkering with stuff around the house and always willing to open and repair. But, all the career related aptitudes traits cannot be seen so visibly and hence, every child needs to undergo a thorough (Not a short version of ‘quick ‘ testing on the career websites) scientific Aptitude test with an experienced Counselor who can interpret the test results and integrate the interest, personality, family background and dreams of the child with his scientifically tested aptitude.

Career is one of the most important aspects of life and hence, we need to understand that it cannot only be a source of money. Our career should inspire, motivate and activate us while bringing us joy and enthusiasm for life while making money. Look for a counselor with good references around you. If your city does not give you many options then you can look online. Do check the credentials and feedback on that counselor on various social media before you entrust them your future. With online Counseling options today you can get the services from the best counselors across the world.
So if you are thinking career- think Aptitude testing.

How to Help Distracted Children with Studies?

Today many parents are worried over casual approach of their children towards studies, especially in primary and middle school. Scoring marks is not much of a problem for these children. Thus they believe that regular and long hours of studies are not essential. Eventually, most of them find it very difficult to focus for a long time when they reach the higher classes and thus lose interest in studies and the process of studies.

Parents are right to worry. Children with above average intelligence make it very easily through today’s primary and middle school systems especially because of the easy and sort exams and repetitive nature of school studies. But many of them end up in mess in high school and later because they may either be not very good with their basics or may end up hating to sit for long hours as per the demands of the senior classes. Hatred or laziness for writing practice is another cause of worry.

In addition they have too many attractions and distractions that they do not believe in doing anything for the sake of their parents or teachers or because they are afraid of the authorities. Usually when parents insist on regular studies, they are faced with strong resistance and at times even violent reactions.

Most of these children do not even respond to suggestions from a counselor or a teacher, timetables or schedules for more than a day or two. Majorly, because though they would want to do better at studies they do not have the discipline or willpower to sustain on their own for long.

The best option for such children is to get them a home tutor. The idea behind this is - children develop the habit for regular studies throughout the year for an hour or two. This habit will take them a long way.

Another advantage is you can instruct the tutors to test the child for the basics of math, languages and science from time to time and set a system of regular practice for the basics so that senior classes become comfortable.

Thirdly, these tutors can, through your instructions, get full test papers solved from the student prior to exams in exam-like setting keeping the required time check. This will improve the child’s examination skills and give a boost to their confidence.

Even if your child is scoring well and is not willing for a tutor, I suggest you to implement it as a compulsion to inculcate regular study habits in your child. If not anything, on some days the tutor can engage the child in subject related or general debate or encourage creative writing.

I would also suggest that the results can be best if the tutor is not a teacher by profession as those teachers put off the students. In most A and B grade cities you would find tutorial agencies that can send you a verified teacher. These teachers are mostly college students and children feel more comfortable with them.

A word of caution though, if your child is a female do insist on a female tutor for the sake of safety and ensure that there is no door closing during the class time and that you or some other adult be around.

Want To Achieve Your Dreams?

We have all set goals for ourselves at some point of time or other. However most of us end up feeling “Goal setting doesn’t work in the face of all the uncertainties of life”. I believe this is where the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is decided. The one common thing with the extraordinary achievers is that they set a goal and stick to it. I understand it is not always easy and certainly that all of us are not equally motivated all the time. But if we really wish to achieve our targets- whether it is starting a new company, going for an IPO, losing weight, changing countries or acing an exam- We need to understand the process of Goal setting and how it works.

While setting goals it is important to have a written statement or plan. The best way to set goals is to using the following formula. The goals should be SMART.

S- Specific- Write- What do I want to Achieve?
M- Measurable- Write- How much, or what exact specifications do I want to aim for.
A- Attainable- Write- What is the degree to which this is attainable?
R- Relevant- Write- Is this goal relevant to what I really want in life?
T- Time Bound- By which date or time do I want to reach there?

For example, If your goal is to make a lot of money. Now that is very vague and you will never be able to reach there. You can make the same goal SMART and write for yourself-

I want to have cash assets in savings (Specific) amounting to 5 Lakh Rupees(Measurable) By December 2020 (Time Bound)
Now you know where you want to be after 2 years so now what you have to do is find the mind point i.e. where you should be by the end of 1st year to achieve your final target of 2 years? If that answer is 2 Lakh Rupees, then you have to ask yourself how much do you have today.

Now you have clear goal for the next one year and all you have to do is draw a strategy to achieve that.

You strategy sheet should also be in writing where you should be working on the following points:

1. How much can I earn in 1 year by the same way that I am earning today?
2. What additional source of income can I add?
3. What kind of investments are needed to reach the planned target of 1 year.
4. Who are the people who can help me - learn, plan, and motivate?
5. What can possibly go wrong?
6. What measures can I take to avoid or counter that which can go wrong?

Getting all this on paper and revising helps clear the perspective. Next you need to paste this paper where you can see it daily and accordingly you can set smaller daily, weekly and monthly goals.

However also remember that goals need to be reviewed regularly as you go along the plan. Adjustments may be needed from time to time based on how you are moving ahead and if or not things are going as per your plan.


For those of us who tend to procrastinate or fizzle out after the initial excitement, it makes sense to have achievement partners in the form of a friend or a family member whom you respect and feel answerable to. Share your Goals and the plans with them and give them the right to follow up with you. After we reach a stage where parents cannot scold us into anything, it is important for us to set our own compulsory check -points. These checkpoints are essential to ensure that we do not back off in times of extreme procrastination or temporary setbacks.

To this extent I strongly recommend to work with a professional Life Coach. To understand better, the life Coaching process looks something like this:-

STEP I: Your coach will help you SPOT and ISOLATE the real challenges you are facing currently.
STEP II: Next they will help you IDENTIFY what your life aims are and what is stopping you from attaining them.
STEP III: Then they will help you CREATE AN ACTION PLAN to overcome the challenges and achieve your aims.
STEP IV: They will BE WITH YOU as you follow through your action plan and climb the steps towards your life goals.
Step V: Together they will CELEBRATE your victories at every stage!

It is a minimum 3 months commitment and with a good coach you will be successfully on your way full of Motivation and enthusiasm.

So go ahead and dream. To turn your dreams into reality, just find your right way to set the goals and follow through!