Overcoming Mental Stress of Work Life Balance

Being a professional was never easy. But certain professions bring up a lot of extras on the professional by virtue of its nature and demands. Medical profession is certainly one on the top of the list of careers that are associated with high stress and disturbed work life balance.

Is it all about the profession or is it personal? The arguments are in favor of both. However two factors that put the medical profession on top of the list are:

a) The stakes being very high in the form of human morbidity and mortality and
b) The ethical and moral responsibilities associated with it.

But is it essential that these factors should mess up our work life balance? Then we come to the point that many a people who are not in medical profession also suffer from lot of work related stress and are unable to manage a healthy work life balance. While there are practicing doctors who are able to find adequate time for everything, there are clerks and teachers who constantly complain of lack of time and disturbing stress. In such definition, then every work has the ability to produce stress on the worker and every individual has the ability to work up a healthy work life balance.

The following questions are then important to be answered by each one of us in order to understand the reasons behind our stress.

1. Do I really like and enjoy my work?
2. Am I working in an environment of my choice?
3. Do I find my work monotonous or challenging?
4. Do I plan my day?
5. Do I do adequate delegation of my professional and personal work?
6. Can I keep my work and personal life separate?
7. Do I feel relaxed and happy while I work or tensed and pressurized?
8. Can I say no in situations I do not need to say yes?
9. Do I indulge in any hobbies or extracurricular activities regularly?
10. Can I communicate my feelings and emotions openly or do I feel bottled up?
11. Am I surrounded by healthy personal and professional relationships?
12. Do I exercise regularly?
13. Do I have a regular schedule and method for mental relaxation? 

Honest answers to these questions would be enough for us to locate the real reason behind our mental stress.

Interestingly almost all of us know our answers but are not always willing to put in the efforts to work in the right direction for our healthy lifestyle and cope up with stress and anxiety in the right manner. In such situations, it is much easier to blame the profession, professional demands and professional environment. However, no amount of blame game can make this life worth living for us.

If we observe carefully, each one of the factors mentioned in the questions above have easy and obvious solutions. The bigger question then is- Are we ready to the take the responsibility of our life and make the necessary changes along with the uncertainties and risks involved.
Medical profession is a noble profession and comes with its inherent demands, but nothing in life is a compulsion unless we take it that way. Here are a few more questions this time specifically for the doctors and every other very busy practitioner:

1. Do I do the extra work because I have the passion or because I want to make the extra money?
2. If I have a huge work-load, do I spend enough in employing qualified and responsible people to handle the extra work-load?
3. Do I feel thankful for the abundance of my income or I never feel satisfied?
4. Do I know myself to be a special human being and not just a medical practitioner?
5. Do I know what would be the perfect work- life balance for me?
6. Am I ready to go the extra mile, may be sacrifice some of my expected income and make a choice for a healthy lifestyle?

In between the emergencies, odd working hours, demanding patients, there is always that extra hour to exercise instead of watching TV, there is always the option to refer patients to colleagues, there is always an option to do group practice and share, and there are many more options. The question is how do we plan to deal with stress at work? And what do we want for ourselves.

The Mental Agony of Marks Psychosis

With growing focus on the marks culture, the psychosis in the society is growing.
Parents are getting all high strung and forcing their children to score high and higher irrespective of whether the child has high and equal aptitude for every subject. They are going beyond their means to get them into tuition classes and schools just to ensure high marks.

Students on the other hand are either becoming rebels without a cause or are sharing the neurosis of their parents and the entire society. We are seeing mental stress and tension creeping in at a very early age where it has not place to be.

Hard work is good. But then it needs to be targeted right. Every action needs to have a well understood agreed upon intention and aim. Education in itself has a noble intention to help people gain knowledge and wisdom to live a physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually fulfilling life. Examinations were to help the students to understand where they stand, what are their strengths, what they can do better and how.

However, over the period of time both these noble intentions seem to have taken a back seat. Hardly anyone seems to be interested in thinking long term in terms of fulfillment and happiness. Though these seem to be the primary aims of almost all when asked about, the focus is on the immediate gratification. High marks have become the hallmark of instant gratification that seems to be the trend today. Lower marks represent doom of sorts.

Are there any winners? I doubt. The high scorers are assigned higher and higher targets till the time they lose themselves and their self-esteem drops hugely because of feeling unfulfilled in spite of all the high grades. While those who are not the academic achievers are made to feel a total loss by the society and the family hence they grope to gather a few shreds of their remaining self-esteem.

It is high time that we bring our focus back to what is really important. If all was ok only because of high marks then why do achievers go into depression and struggle with addiction? If not any of these, they do crave for self- identity once the rat race is over and so get into one new race after another.

Competition is good and high grades are great. But they are not the sole bearers of happiness and prosperity. There is a whole world that is open for all. Something interesting is waiting for each of us. However, the parents and students need to understand the limited role of marks in life like that of everything else and instead understand the importance of focus, attentions, learning, an application of knowledge for a fulfilling life. Let the children explore in your guidance. If they are moving ahead with knowing they will progress the best.

Marks or no marks, there is a beautiful world waiting to be explored by all equally. The school grades do not decide our success or failure. We have too many examples to prove this. Need is to open our eyes and hearts to this faith and celebrate whatever results we stand with today. Tomorrow can be made more fulfilling from any stage. Provided we keep the channel open with them.

Spreading the Belief of Mental Health – Are You Right or Happy

Spreading the belief of mental health is to understand the essence of mental peace. One very common cause of disturbed mental peace is ‘Arguments- our essential tools to prove ourselves right’. Sometimes we need to stick our head out and use our best skills to prove that our way of thinking is correct. But how many times this need to prove ourselves right is actually legitimate? How many times we are actually in a situation where if we do not win the argument some disaster would happen?

Go ahead and take a break from whatever you are doing, even while reading this think of a few recent arguments you have been into with friends, family or colleagues. Use all your skills to prove to yourself that it was utmost essential to win that argument for the genuine good of the society or at least one person.

Not many. I can bet on it. Now that you take a second look at the argument you may even feel that considering the bitter outcome of the argument, it would have been a sane thing to even totally avoid getting into it in the first place.

Now we can see it but what happens when actually an argument starts? The ‘ego’- the battered little thing inside us that has been trying to prove to ourselves that we are the people of importance, starts taking over. The ‘ego’ sees it as an ‘opportunity’ to prove something and then there is no looking back. The more the opposition the more the ego takes it all personally and more than the point in question it becomes important for us to prove that “I” am right and “YOU” are wrong. The stress hormones rise, bitter feeling settle in, leaving us in an exhausted state of emotional strength and mental health.  

Surprisingly, winning an argument is seldom a happy feeling. Rather we have created adversaries, if not enemies, in the process. There are hurt feelings that often lead to mental illness like anxiety, depression, and stress if not healed on time. In order to prove one silly point we might have inflicted some personal insults. Our voice raised and the body posture becoming defensive and aggressive at the same time.

Argument won- friend lost- mental peace disturbed and mental health at risk.

Many arguments turn out to be the last conversations with important people.

And the suffering is worse than the one of losing an argument. Because now you have won but the price has been so high and personal that you cannot afford to celebrate. So you suffer and then find reasons to justify all that happened and try to invent ways to push the blame on the other person.

Net result - LOST. Nothing positive is achieved in majority of arguments.

So next time instead of winning, try to keep the focus on love and learning. Watch your words, tone, gestures and feelings. The moment there is a sign of negativity- QUIT. It is not worth it.

After all, we can always settle on “agree to disagree!” Maintain our dignity, respect, mood andrelationship and give an opportunity for the same to our partner.