Thursday, 28 July 2016

TOUGH LOVE Article by Dr.Sapna Sharma

All parents love their children, but does our love help them prepare for a healthy and confident survival in the real world OR Does it only give us a satisfaction that we did everything best for them? Sometimes both the things might mean the same but not every time. Consider the following example:

When the child habitually throws his uniform around and is never able to find his things at the proper place and on time- After repeated warnings and guidance, continued intervention by the parent to arrange his things and ensure a clean uniform for him is a self-indulgent form of love which is further making the child careless, dependent and irresponsible and in turn taking him one step further from responsible independent living. Tough love in this case would either set and follow strict rules, or let the child go about in dirty uniform, missing school box or incomplete notebooks and letting him face the consequences thus learning the very important lesson of “Cause-Effect Relationship” that would go a long way in life.

We get many such opportunities to help the children learn the importance of essential survival practices like self- discipline, neatness, responsible behaviour etc.

True love is ‘Tough Love” that lets the child learn early even though it may appear to the parent of being “harsh” or “unloving”.

The primary responsibility of the parent is to help the child learn the ways of the world and the best and healthiest survival practices. Indulging the child with expensive school, branded footwear, expensive gadgets and luxurious trips are not the parameters of love. These are activities that we indulge in to satisfy our need to be able to give the best to the child and manya times even to show to the world what we can provide.

Regular and consistent showering of unconditionallove with a dash of tough love would save us from the use of harsh punishments and would largely prevent the setting of depression, rebellion and disconnection so commonly seen among kids and the youth today.

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