Marriage – Good Compromise or Bad Compromise?

They say marriage is a compromise. And I do agree. But compromise does not have to be a negative word always. 

For the new generation, the meaning of marriage seems to have changed. A generation that is being brought up by parents as prince and princesses and the center of their universe, is growing up believing that life is all about them. They believe that like their parents, everyone else should also be revolving around them and everyone else should carry the responsibility of making their life comfortable and entertaining like their parents did for them.

We are not here to discuss what is good and what is not, this is what the marriageable generations typically look like. And one word this generation has hardly heard is ‘compromise’.  The parents of this generation had compromise in their middle name and hence they have taken special care that the apple of their eye should not have to compromise over anything. And believe me this has nothing to do with money. I have seen this same phenomenon in the homes of the rich, the not so rich and the poor. Parents are trying to provide the best that they can to their children as if trying to get some vicarious pleasure of feeling satisfied with their job as parents. 

This generation then when it enters the institution of marriage, looks at every small adjustment and compromise to be negative and ‘anti-me’. The reaction to smallest compromise expectation is usually huge, many a time ending in the end of the relationship.

Unfortunately these youngsters then get close to others and since these others are still outsiders and do not expect any adjustments and change, they start believing that this new relationship is the good one. That utopia lasts till familiarity brings expectations in that new relationship and the cycle goes on. 

Parents, it is important to talk about “Good Compromise” with your sweethearts. They need to be oriented with the fact that when we want to live with someone for the reason of love, we need to change a little, adjust some more and at times compromise for the sake of the same love. I am not saying suggest them to tolerate insults and torture, but wanting to change and compromise for the one you love should be coming from a place of love.

Life is about companionship and relationships. That is what is happiness all about. That is what being human is all about. If we bring up our children to be self centered and rigid, we have to see them suffer in the later half of their life.

If you believe this can help someone, do share. To connect with me for relationship counseling, send WhatsApp message on 8446229088 from wherever you are in the world.