Social Media and Relationships

Recently I came across a case in my counseling practice where a young mother of a 5 year old met someone on a popular social media and was ready to sacrifice everything of importance to continue a relationship with this new- found friend.

This is just one of the many instances when social media is adversely affecting our relationships. Too many people are getting into relationships only because they have spent hours together on some app chatting their heart out. What exactly is happening here.

The topic is a bit complicated as too many aspects of life are involved here.

1. Most people in this millennium are experiencing loneliness due to lack of social adjustment and hence are trying to find solace in a virtual world where there is no direct confrontation.
2. Many digital media users are portraying an unreal image of an ideal, movie hero/ heroine like image that is in fact their alter ego
3. Because of the changing structure of the society the closeness of family members is reducing as everyone is looking for personal space. This gives almost everyone to indulge in idle chats with random strangers and with known people
4. When online with a person who doesn’t know us well and there is no common agenda to deal with, both the parties are at their best talking about life, philosophy, love, high values, stories of victimization etc that attracts the other person
5. Even for married couples such chats and talks are intoxicating as every heart craves romance but somehow after a relationship is formalized the romance seems to dissolve very fast. The challenges of running a family tugs at their coupledom and hence they are easily influenced when someone else can look at them as an individual who has emotional needs.

Due to some or all of these factors:

1. People get in Quick relationships without even knowing the person well.
2. Many are cheating on their partners in the lure of something that appears good from a distance
3. Many are being cheated on 
4. Couples are projecting unreal expectations on their partner looking at the near perfect couple pictures and videos of others
5. What was once seen on the silver screen is easy for anyone to replicate and many people are posting unreal images and messages with their spouses that is leading others to wonder what is wrong with their own relationship thus causing great dissatisfaction. 

Thus indiscreet use of social media is creating pressure on many couples. Believing that others have picture perfect relationships as depicted on social media, people are desperately trying to keep up a happy image of a happy family. This prevents them from sharing their issues even with close friends and family thus leading to many serious issues related to mental, emotional and spiritual health.

Social media is good. It is helping us to connect with our near and dear ones. Covid-19 lockdown without means of video and audio calls is unimaginable. However, we need to be very-very careful- whom we connect with, how much do we know about the real them, with awareness that very little of what is portrayed on social media is real. Most of it is made up. We need to make our kids aware of this from an early age. 

Relationships are personal. Any connection that happens without knowing the other person very well is a sign of heart- break. Let's keep the two separate- Relationships and social media.

If you believe this can help someone, do share. To connect with me for Relationship Counseling WhatsApp on 8446229088 from wherever you are in the world.