Understand The Role of ‘OTHERS’ in a Marriage Or Relationship

Guess what? Everyone other than you two is the ‘other’ in a relationship. You heard me right. When I say everyone, I mean everyone- your parents, relatives, close friends and even your children- all of them are the ‘others’.

A family may be about so many people but Marriage is about the couple. Interestingly the Indian understanding of Marriage is –Now your life is over, you have to start living for everyone else. And once the kids were born it is almost considered to be a sin to even think of having some good alone time with your spouse.

Result? Many, in fact the majority of couples lose intimacy and connect even before it is completely formed. And once you have had children- the whole concept of coupledom goes for a toss!

Does it have to be this way? Why are we not able to see the simplest fact that if we are not able to be a great couple that is happy to be together, everything else becomes drudgery. Even the children, for whom you believe that you are sacrificing your intimacy, start feeling the pinch of the loveless marriage.

To make things worse, we have started bringing our best friends who may be of either sexes, into the relationship. Young girls believe that being modern they are entitled to keep close friendships with boys other than their partner. Often quoting the trump card of being modern, they reject any concern expressed by the parents or friends and absolutely attack any display of envy or uneasiness by their partner. Often the deepest secrets shared with the partner are also shared with these special friends and any picture clicked to share with the partner simultaneously finds a way to the friend’s whatsapp. There are many complications of such triangles that can be seen everywhere.

The sanctity of an intimate relationship has to be rebuilt. We need to realize that the strength of any family is supported on the strong pillar that both the partners make together. Some of the others are important, yet not more important than the couple. If we can be strong, happy and contented as a couple only then is it possible to extend the love, care and support to the others.

To maintain the sanctity and serenity of the relationship is the responsibility of both the partners. If we cannot overcome our temptations to over indulge our friends, children and parents, there is no way the relationship can be nourished.