How does one describe love? I read this somewhere. “Love is a variety of feelings, emotions, and attitude… The basic meaning of love is to feel more than liking towards someone”.
Now to like someone we need to admire something about them and that means we respect something about them. I do not think we can truly like someone whom we do not respect. When like changes to love, others feelings may be added to it- admiration, attraction, sexual attraction, etc, but the basic requirement has to be respect.
In the absence of respect, that which we describe as love, can be merely physical attraction.
However, most of the time when we believe we are falling in love, we are merely attracted towards a few things about that person. Sometimes the attraction is simply a result of constant association. Especially these days because of the multiple social interaction platforms we tend to be connected with some people almost the entire day extending into late nights. The interaction may start with office work or exchange of class notes, but eventually turns to more personal note sharing. Sharing of intimate details, pains, losses and challenges prompts reciprocation in the form of admiration, empathizing and extension of support - which we are all craving for - the feeling is overwhelming and overpowering. The heart craves to be with that person more and more. And we end up calling it love- most of the time without even knowing the person well.
And just like that we decide that we want to be together. The person seems to be our dream come true. And all this while we are blissfully unaware that while we have been dreaming of our prince charming or lady love, we have hardly paid any attention to who we are and what we really need. Hardly anyone ever talks of the basic human need to be respected and the fact that it is very difficult to be in the company of a person whom we can not respect.
Can there really be love in the absence of respect? I think today when most people are fleeting from one failed relationship to another, it is high time that we give a thought to this.
What kind of person I want to be with and how do I wish to be treated? That is basic I believe. Forget about respecting the other person, just think you would be really happy if the other person is highly attracted to your body, likes to do the small little romantic things when they are in a good mood but do not even as much flinch before showering you with insults the moment something goes wrong? How does the scene sound to you? It is your question, not mine.
Think of it. A beautiful face, attractive body, fat bank balance, flattering words, gifts and flowers may sound attractive, but do you really believe there can be true love in the absence of mutual respect.
# Do wait to see if the person respects you and to confirm that you respect them before making a commitment.
No comments:
Post a Comment